Therapy is Running too…

“If it doesn’t challenge you, it won’t change you.”

During this mental health journey of getting my head right, I have fallen in love with Running, again, for the nth time. Living with Anxiety and Depression as a result of Childhood Trauma has made it difficult to enjoy workouts like the majority, except when I’m running. Running gives me a feeling of escape. In the middle of a panic attack, all I want to do is escape into my Happy Place and put all those negative thoughts into the VAULT! The ability to go as fast or as slow as I prefer, when I want, feels euphoric.

In the past, food was my escape. I used it for everything, found an excuse at every negative thought or experience during any given day. I realized that I no longer want anything or anyone to influence and/or control me to the point of no return – ever again. I want to have control of everything, and that includes food. Everything I put in my mouth has a cost, and I learned that the hard way losing my Gallbladder. Regardless if I needed el maldito organ, I still wanted to die with all of my organs. Well, actually, I also had a hysterectomy so it’s a shitshow at this point. Whatever stays is paying premium rent at this point, lol. Seriously though, I have battled obesity most of my life.

The point I am trying to make is that I feel in control when I run. I have a running playlist with my favorite musica urbana/o artists – YES, I grew up on Reggaeton and I love that shit! I digressed; the weight loss I appreciate the most. I have not weighed what I weigh today since before having my youngest child. The heaviest I have ever been is 315lbs, and today I weigh 265lbs. While I am still way overweight, I rather do this slow and steady. Besides, I am super strong!

I am trying to turn a new leaf and dig into passions I enjoyed most growing up. In addition to writing, I love Dance. I have considered dancing again, but more holistically, by filming my own videos and posting them on my Instagram. It is still a thought, but I welcome tips from the Pros, as per always. My favorite Choreographer of all time is Cat Rendic. I grew up watching her dance on a show called The Roof as a youngin’, and fell in love with her style ever since. I’m such a FAN!

Thank you for supporting this blog and my ADD self. We covered a lot today, and I have a new goal this week to post daily – cheers amigos!

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